When my dad was in his old 40s to early 50s, his mom was dying of Alzheimer’s Disease. He would go to visit her, first at her home, and then at the memory care living center when she was moved. He would walk in the center, write down his name at the front desk, and go to her room to visit her. 

“She would sometimes not remember who I was and would accuse me of taking her mail and jewelry,” he told me.

When I asked my dad what changes he first noticed in her behavior or memory, he said that she would repeat questions she had already asked 3 or 4 times. “This made me more patient with her, because she didn’t realize she had already asked it. I never wanted to make her feel bad.”

Why do individuals with Alzheimer’s experience the kind of decay that my grandmother did? It is a disease that not only alters the structure of the brain, but also reshapes the lives of those affected and people around them. According to the National Institute on Aging, “the brain typically shrinks to some degree in healthy aging…In Alzheimer’s, however, damage is widespread” because neurons “stop functioning properly, lose connections with other neurons, and eventually die.” As a cognitive brain disease, Alzheimer’s damages and destroys brain cells over time, disrupting that communication between neurons and impairing essential functions such as memory, thinking, and behavior.

These changes are driven by complex biological processes, including the buildup of amyloid plaques and tau tangles, reduced energy supply to the brain, and increased inflammation. The National Institute on Aging further notes that “Beta-amyloid protein… is formed from the breakdown of a larger protein called the amyloid processor,” and that amyloid “42 form is thought to be especially toxic.” As those neurons are injured and stop working properly, connections among networks of neurons break down. The Vascular contributions reduce the flow of oxygen and nutrients to brain tissue, which may keep glucose from reaching the brain, leading to inflammation and worsening damage. 

As the disease advances, damage spreads from part of the brain responsible for memory to areas responsible for reasoning and emotions, which contributes to the steady decline in independence. These emotional effects on the individual also affect the people around them. 

My dad experienced this firsthand. He would go to the memory care center to see his mom and sit down beside her. She was drinking her Ensure Shake, zoned out watching the television, her hands clasped with my dad’s. He often talks about the first time she took a cognitive thinking test before being diagnosed with Alzheimer’s. The simple question of “What day of the week is it?” and “What is this on the screen?,” a picture of an apple, and her confused face, staring blank into space. When asked what was the hardest part emotionally, he said it was seeing the impact on his father as “he cared for my mom daily and there were days he really struggled watching his wife of over 50 years start to slip away mentally.” He adds how it was “tough on me not to be able to do anything to make it better.”

 Not a lot of people talk about the effect when they have relatives with this horrible illness –  how strong they must be to be able to sit next to their loved one being quizzed, squeezing their hand to hold in the tears, and smile like it is all okay. Alzheimer’s sometimes is influenced by genetics, which is a scary thing to hear for my dad. 

When I asked my dad what he is doing to hopefully avoid this disease in the future, he replied, “it starts with eating healthy and eating certain foods that protect and help the brain. I also read a lot, try to exercise and do brain games as these are all proven methods to keep Alzheimer’s at bay.”

As he fears his possible diagnosis in the future, it is important to learn how to try to avoid this horrible cognitive illness. According to my dad, it is also important to remember that “the person who has Alzheimer’s still knows something is wrong with them and it can make them feel ashamed, bad and depressed.”

For all of us, it is important to take care of our health and to have empathy because the disease affects so many people. We can only hope that a cure comes soon.